The Curse of The Final Chapter
Films are great, and sequels are better. There’s nothing more fun at looking at all the silly and creative (or not so creative) names that producers slap on the end of their films. Plop on a colon and come up with a cool buzzword that will certainly get everyone’s attention. However, there is one name that pops time and time again, and it just makes us all really mad! Smacking on THE FINAL CHAPTER to your film makes is an easy way to loose fans fast, as the film series continues to play on like a duracell bunny. It’s become a bit of a running joke, with some of the biggest horror franchise throwing on that title in the hopes of getting more bums on seats. We look at the title all colons dread, The Curse of The Final Chapter
Resident Evil: The Final Chapter
The Resident Evil films were a kick-ass, action packed, zombie fest , which made about as much sense as waterproof T-Bag. The franchise kicked off back in 2002, with Milla Jovovich providing both the sex appeal and the badassery, with her kung-fu styled fighting and gun play. Whilst the videos games, for their most part, had a linear storyline revolving around a shady business organisation and a deadly virus weapon, the films just kind of did its own thing with clones, deadly computers and a lot of confused stuff I don’t understand. Yes, there were a shit-ton of zombies, and who doesn’t love a good zombie film, but the walking dead got a little lost amongst all the fancy fighting silly subplots.
The film series clocked in with six movies, filled with creatures and guns and kick ass soundtrack, each one titled with more and more silly names like , Retribution and Extinction. It honestly seemed like they were just pulling names out of a hat. The last Resident Evil film that hit cinemas in 2016, was coined with a dreaded colon title “The Final Chapter”, which could have been one of the most meanifull titles in the series. So, was the series all said and done? Not really, within days of the film hitting cinemas, Constantin Films announced their plans to reboot the series, meaning more resident evil exploding on to the silver screen very soon. Sadly, this does mean the end of Milla Jovovich, who was the only reason to watch the original series.
Friday the 13th Part IX: Jason Goes to Hell – The Final Friday (1984)
As much as we enjoy watch Jason Voorhees taking out hapless teenagers, it’s his marketing tactics that really get out goat. After years of decapitating young souls and carefully naming his films with roman numerals, his fourth outing slapped The Final Chapter on to the films title, despite a fifth film coming out a year later. Yep, producers had no intention of ending Jason Voorhees adventures in baby sitting, the films made way too much money.
This was not the only time old Jason tried to pull the wool over our pokey out eyes. His ninth outing finally sees the dreaded killer blown to bits, only to be revived when a hungry coroner tucks into a meal of Jason Jerky. The film titled itself as the Final Friday, meaning to finally bring the series to an end once and for all. However, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice….. get stabbed in the head! A buck’s is a buck and the pull of the films successful franchise was enough for the unstoppable behemoth to rise once more in 2001s Jason X. But sending Jason into space was not enough. In 2003, he faced off against the nightmare-man himself, Freddy Kruger in Freddy versus Jason, and then starred in a remake in 2009. We doubt he’s done yet either, with rumours of more films doing the rounds.
Angel III: The Final Chapter (1988)
The Angel series is an interesting experiment in doing the same thing over and over with the same results. The Action, Crime, Thriller series sees innocent 15 year-old Molly take to the streets as her prostitute alter ego Angel, where she fends of against psycho-necrophiliacs, serial killers and kidnappers. Whilst the first film managed to gain a cult following, all of its sequels were commercial failures at the box office. So when the third film came around in 1988, it was titled as The Final Chapter, and promised to end the Angel series as a trashy trilogy.
Despite the sequels making no money and getting terrible reviews, a fourth film was produced in 1994, thanks to its keen fan base. Angel 4: Undercover sees the now ex prostitute working as a police photographer and investigate her friend’s death. This fun, trashy series is a rinse wipe repeat or failure, that could not even end correctly.
Lake Placid: The Final Chapter
How giant crocodile movies ever become a thing is beyond me, but there are a lot of them, and no series does it more justice than the Lake Placid series, that put a comedy twist to the monster themes. It started in 1999, with the first Lake Placid film that made a big splash at the cinemas, considering it was a horror movie. It was followed by underwhelming sequels, which all went direct to video. The crock was killing it, even if it was no longer on the big screens.
By the time the fourth film was in production, the love for the series had dwindled, and film makers decided to call it a day. Titled as The Final Chapter, the film premiered on the SyFy Channel, and was praised by critics that loved its plot and character development. The films ending clearly left the series open for more, and thanks to it’s warm reception, Lake Placid: The Final Chapter was not the last at all. Two more films were produced with one of them due for release in 2018. Some people think crocs rule!
Saw: The Final Chapter
James Wan and Leigh Whannell created a little short film called Saw back in 2003, which quickly snowballed into a huge hit franchise only a year later. Despite the series being hugely successful with each sequel, the decision was made to end the series with its seventh film. The story had started to become too over complicated and the films clever twists were being shadowed by it’s necessity on gore. Saw 3D: The Final Chapter was release to cinemas in 2010, despite having a twist that would certainly set up a new set of films.
For a good few years, Saw was gone, and all was well with the world. Of course, It could not stay down forever. in 2017, a new film hit cinemas, simply called Jigsaw, and was met with a healthy return on its budget. With the films still pulling in bums on seats, and with every film pulling in huge profits, it’s unlikely that series will ever get a real FINALE. Game over….
Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare
Freddy Kruger was getting long in the tooth. Out of all the iconic killers, Kruger was the most successful. The dream master landed himself a huge film franchise, a TV series and even landed himself a song with the Fat Boys called “Are You Ready for Freddy“. Yes sir, Freddy had it all! That was until his “Final” outing in 1991 with Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare, which should have put the series to bed (so to speak). However, A Nightmare on Elm Street creator Wes Craven just could not get that itch out of his pants and jumped back into bed, three years later, for his New Nightmare.
Whilst a New Nightmare is not part of the series continuity, it was developed under the title A Nightmare on Elm Street 7: The Ascension, and was the original idea for the third nightmare film Dream Warriors. Freddy then popped up again in 2003 with Freddy versus Jason, and a re-make saw Nightmare revived once more, dropping Robert Englund as the gloved menace. Safe to say, the change of face and different direction the film took was met with much hatred from fans and critics. Cos nobody does Freddy like Englund.
Puppet Master 5: The Final Chapter
1994 saw the fifth Puppet Master film to arrive on home video. Unlike the other films, this was a direct sequel to the 1993’s Puppet Master 4, and it promised to be The Final Chapter in the series. Whilst this was a genuine action on the filmmakers behalf, they just failed to see how popular the little killer dolls really were.
You see, films three and four were pretty bad, and they completely screwed around with the films already established story. Whilst it’s easy to believe that some ancient Egyptian magic is bringing the dolls to life, introducing gods and demons into a series filled with psychics and Nazis, just turns the series into a wishy washy “anything goes” styled series.
Fans hated Puppet Master 4 and the sales dropped, leading producers thinking that the fifth film should be the last, and so it gained the dreaded colon title, The Final Chapter. However, Blade, Pinhead, Jester and the rest of the gang still had a huge fan base behind them, and this led to an incredible eighth other film, with even more in the pipeline. Final indeed….
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“Hi Horror Fans – Who’s more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him? We have all fallen victim to LIES and DECEPTION, but when it’s from the like of our favorite films, well that’s just KILLER! Lets hope we have seen the last of this DREADED fad, and that some film series STAY DEAD! Did we miss anything? Do you like chinese food? Jump into our comments below and let the world know your thoughts!