Do you find yourself alarmed and irrational around arachnids? Do spiders make you uneasy and tense? Do not be alarmed, you may have what science calls Arachnophobia, an irrational fear of spiders! Whilst the doctors of the world have yet to invent a magic pill to cure your angst, we have woven a handy guide for you. Here you will find the different types of spiders you should try to avoid. If you find yourself face to face with one of the eight legged beast, a handy shoe or rolled up newspaper should be enough to beat of the little devil. But the best defence is an offence, so here’s our guide to get your prepared for the inevitable spider invasion! Look under the bed and check your wardrobes , because you’re never too far from SPIDERS!
Tarantulas – Tarantula (1955)
Despite it’s hilarious name , having a giant Mexican Red Rumped Tarantula lose in town, is no laughing matter! These spiders can be identified by its immense size and colour. It is black, with a distinct red abdomen. This giant creature is the result of a lab experiment to create a super food nutrient, to replace food in the future. With an ever growing population, scientist were trying to save humanity, instead they created a monster. If you play with atomic isotope, expect BIG results! Feeding mostly on live stock and the odd human, this house sized horror can only be stopped with one thing! FIRE..lots of it.
Camel Spiders – Camel Spiders (2011)
Everybody loves a holiday. Especially if you’re stuck in a Middle Eastern desert. These spider-like arachnids hitched a ride to the Mojave Desert, for a change of scenery and for some good American food. Preying on any animal that come their way, including the odd tasty human, these vicious insects can be identified by their large size and tan colour. Whilst real life Camel Spiders have more in common with scorpions (without the sting), these fictional versions spin webs and pack a venomous bite. Grab a couple of machine guns and a few grenades and hope for the best!
Black Widow – Curse of the Black Widow
With a detective hot on the trail of a strange murderer, our arachnidan killer heads to Los Angeles. Victims are found with venom filled puncture wounds, and covered in spiders webs. Suffering from an ancient curse passed through the female line, Valerie Steffan transforms into a giant Black Widow Spider. Women affected by this curse turn into giant spiders during the full moon. They kill their victims, and encase them in a cocoon to feed on them. These women have a distinct red hourglass birthmark on their abdomens, similar to those found on black widow spiders. They are almost indestructible in spider form; the only thing that can kill them is fire. Valerie Steffan crime wave ends as a barn catches fire, burning it and her to the ground.
Giant Spiders – Eight Legged Freaks (2002)
Mixing an exotic spider farm and toxic waste is never a great idea. The quiet mining town of Prosperity discover this, when giant killer spiders attack. These huge monsters include a wide variety of species , such as Jumping, Tarantulas, Trapdoors and Orb-weavers. To make matters worse, these mutated creatures grow bigger with every meal. Whilst guns can kill the oversized arachnids, their larger numbers make this tactic foolish. A large explosion will ensure large numbers are killed , such as igniting a high concentrations of methane gas.
Big Ass Spiders – Big Ass Spider! (2013)
A spider’s nest, hidden in some fruit, is exposed to alien DNA during a government experiment. This DNA has strange properties that cause increased growth. The government had hoped to create a new growth hormone, instead they created a monster! A single spider emerges from the nest and grows at a phenomenal rate. With a ferocious appetite, this monster has one huge weakness, it produces highly flammable webbing. A single shot to it’s spinneret with an explosive weapon, such as a rocket launcher, could cause the creature to explode. Just be sure to take steady aim, as you really don’t want to miss.
Ice Spiders – Ice Spiders (2007)
These cold weather arachnids are a result of genetic experimentation on Black Widow Spiders. As if theses creepy crawlies weren’t scary enough, being North Americas most deadliest spider, scientist have to go and mutate them to be bigger and badder! These venomous creatures spin huge webs and cocoons their prey, to be drained of bodily fluids later. Thier bites are fatal, with huges amounts of venom being injected with each bite. Being a mutated breed, these spider can withstand extremely low temperatures making them a deadly and enduring species.
Lava Spiders – Lavalantula (2015)
These coal black spider came swarming out from the ground, after a Volcanic eruptions in Los Angeles. They have reddish orange eyes and sizes vary, with the queens growing as big as a house. It would seem that these creatures have adapted to extreme heat. Their chelicerae, the fang like appendages on their mouths, drip a lava like substance which causes burns when bitten. It would also seem that fertilised eggs are in this substance, as baby Lavalantula have been seen to swarm out of victim’s mouths, a process that burns the victims alive. They are great climbers. Even the queen, despite her immense size, was able to crawl up a building. An interesting way of dealing with this creatures, is to mix their blood with gasoline. The chemical reaction causes an explosion, which would be large enough to kill even the biggest of these fire breathing monsters.
Venezuelan Cross Breeds – Arachnophobia (1990)
When a Venezuelan spider is transported to a small American town, it gets down to business and mates with his common household counterpart. This love affair is no Charlotte’s Web, as this whirlwind romance produces a new race of deadly arachnids. Whilst these soldier spiders have a short life expectancy, a single bite contains enough venom to kill any man, woman or child. With a resistant for modern pesticides, your best bet is to BURN this little monster!
Interesting fun fact for you, no spiders were harmed, in the making of this film. When John Goodman’s exterminator Delbert had to stomp and squish a spider, he wore a shoe with a hollowed out sole.
Interdimensional – The Mist (2007)
This is just great, if they are not coming out of the walls or destroying buildings, they are interdimensionally travelling to eat our faces! These other worldly critters are the result of the disastrous Arrowhead Project. The government’s attempt to look into other dimensions opened up a nightmare gateway. Apart from a little fog and some crab like creatures, this rip in space-time released a bunch of deadly spiders into our streets. With the larger ones growing to the size of a dog, these deadly creatures spin acid webbing, that slices through skin and bone like a knife through butter. They also lay eggs inside their victims, turning a terrifying creature into something straight out of your nightmares. With the baby spiders eating people from the inside out, and the adults melting peoples legs off, these creatures are best avoided at all cost.
Ripping it up!
Deleted but not forgotten.